Clearing out my mind

It has been a minute since the last time i blogged, so my mind is obviously dust clogged gotta do some spring cleaning, I know its barely fall. on the real everything's on the up and up i cant seem to be able to quit the melodrama though i guess after the highs and lows that have been my 26years on this earth i've become quite the cynic eyes closed on the scenic route i chose, i can smell the roses but wont believe it till i see them, once i get out the other end of the tunnel. There are days i wake up and get to bugging mind buzzing overthink on overdrive gets me shaking my head hoping wishing shit came with an owners manual sometimes forgetting to switch gear, i'd rather this were automatic i know i know, its never that easy though, and we all know how easy go, on the edge of sanity far too often, guard down, far too open, its no wonder i feel so insecure, body language steady switching cocky and then demure, borderline bipolar, and then there's her i'd really like to get to know her, explore her mind and body, seal the deal take her soul, the final score win win zero game but that's game theory, really time i took this stuff past theory. lol I guess its business as usual obviously chaotic but never mindless i should probably use my mind less.

Ends up(life's work)

When I tell em money on my mind they thinkin I'm tryna get a rolex to flex/ on the real doh I'm out on a quest for real dough, means justified by ends tryna say I bald, lex/ turns out in this mean world, you're only living if your ends up/ else you're stuck slavin 9to5in, dead end jobin caught up in a slow net, dial up/ slow death, constantly wonderin what your lifes worth disdain when you look at your lifes work/ caught up dragged by a troller,your whole school trapped stuck thinkin that life's work/ caught in the school trap, trapped in the life, living the trap, now you're trapped there for life/ a dboy caught slingin on the trap, you get trialled up then you're in the system stuck there for life/ a cycle of consumerism tryna keep up with the johnses, like "it must be nice" your soundtrack that lyfe/ can't see that you're jonesing, too busy rat racing forgettin why you're really tryna get your cheese up/ the money is but a means to an end, I got dreams money can buy only reason I'm tryna get my ends up/ take a step back get your head up, are you really headin where you're tryna end up?/

These times

Living in these times/ i see what always was through new eyes/ recently fitted Zeiss optics lasik to my eyes/ now i see things clearer/ the minute details magnified scaled 3 times/ foresight approaching 20/20 see my future through these eyes/ who my real friends are and foes in disguise/ on which side my bread is buttered/ and where they're spreading that marmite/ acquired tastes that to me never appealed/ putting fire to papers has the invisible ink revealed/ boom bap beats on repeat got me seeing sounds/ hearing the bigger picture and grasping concepts/ precepts shattered now destroying n rebuilding/ recycling creating works of art from the waste man/ storms weathered been through the worst man/ now these times are mine times/ digging deeper than ever trying to unearth gems/ drawing from the waist like im packing a smith n wess/ paintings all crimson but saw past that/ no more bull lost my urge to charge/ now im in charge in control infra red beams/ red dot no longer afraid to take shots/

I am my own man

my name is on there tongues but they do not know the man/ prophecy with a pen scripting tongues at the border of here and there, no mans land/ so i plot on plod on this journey that's mine skipping landmines/ ducking shots from figurative tech nines, no figure of speech the worlds mine/ land ima own mine let them know im my own man/ on my own man walk alone on this journey thats mine/ im tryna get my bank balance to be a one with mad Os like shit was binary/ they say some get better with age im the 200 hundred year old shit they keep at winerys/ no blasphemy i just conceive these so immaculate call my delivery virgin mary/ all hail it dont just rain when i brainstorm/ its that cold in my startosphere i need to descend from my sit in the clouds/ to converse with heads matter fact no talk just converse to the head/ i be stepping on rap niggas straightup rain dancing on rap niggas/ still make that beautiful music so im tap dancing on these niggas/

Raps by me aka M2rue

Well y'all follow the blog so you know that I've been scripting bars for a while now but i just couldn't spit em but after what happened on July 20th back home in Malawi won't go into that now but the was inspiration for me to go into the both and try voice my opinion get something of my chest and that birthed this track right here Red Army (Soundtrack to the revolution) 

From there i guess i gained a lil more confidence and i decided to start working on my flow whenever the inspiration is there, right now im feeling these old school beats guess im starting from the beginning lol anyways I did this joint ----->  Better than I ever been (Freestyle) on that Kanye West - Classic Beat, I was feeling better than I ever did on the bars and otherwise. Just this morning i heard that Erick Sermon feat. Marvin Gaye - Just like Music joint and i love that beat thought I'd go in on it, thats what birthed this right hur ----> Just love music . Im actually thinking of doing a project called "Finding My Flow" the concept is to just put all the ish i do from now till it drop on there to sort of show the chronological progression of M2rue thats what im calling myself. Watch this space lol

I and I (Tumor of the mind)

  I see her beside I like crows feet, until I and I must part ways and I reside with the most high, until I levitate to another plane on another train of thought running through my mind drilled by another coach, thrilled by this freedom this journey with these pennies for them they pay their own way pave these runways, not freeload not stowaways, my thoughts carry me, take care of me, even as I sleep they're there preparing me, for this journey. Where at the top there'll be no comparing me, they're air to me, where they lack I feel suffocated, asphyxiated but where they flow free, uninhibited I thrive, I plague, I cancer

Deep Dark

This piece is about my greatest fear well actually my second greatest fear since I already blogged about my greatest fear which is failure anyway my second greatest fear I hear that when you happen to find yourself really deep in the ocean its so dark and disorientating you don't know which way is up, well that is my second greatest fear both literally and figuratively it continues from the theme of the last two i.e. Introspect a voyage into me (pause lmao)

So deep boundaries blur no sun no stars to seek I don't know if I'm swimming up or down/ The pressure helps me get my bearings in this case I know I'm on course when I feel it bearing down/ alls inverse when I'm immersed in the flow I know its right when I see em frown like I'm down under shits all upside down/ I know I'm headed up when their faces salty they wanna see me dead see(sea) they wanna see me drown/ I ain't flamboyant yet I stay fly I mean I float without the gas just float on salt I'm buoyant/ and I jot forethought the whole verse chilli hot and cold quote unquote the critiques thoughts, is the boy's clairvoyant/ back to the point this the tip of an iceberg y'all can't begin to imagine how deep/ so deep it scares me its dark and lonely aint sure I'll ever find my way tryna get my way and keep it/ so I plan it out draw a map hope its right hope im headed up and stash it in my back pocket/ searching this like a treasure quest aint sure where I'm headed yet on my way collect the missing pieces I aint whole yet like em half heart lockets/