Clearing out my mind

It has been a minute since the last time i blogged, so my mind is obviously dust clogged gotta do some spring cleaning, I know its barely fall. on the real everything's on the up and up i cant seem to be able to quit the melodrama though i guess after the highs and lows that have been my 26years on this earth i've become quite the cynic eyes closed on the scenic route i chose, i can smell the roses but wont believe it till i see them, once i get out the other end of the tunnel. There are days i wake up and get to bugging mind buzzing overthink on overdrive gets me shaking my head hoping wishing shit came with an owners manual sometimes forgetting to switch gear, i'd rather this were automatic i know i know, its never that easy though, and we all know how easy go, on the edge of sanity far too often, guard down, far too open, its no wonder i feel so insecure, body language steady switching cocky and then demure, borderline bipolar, and then there's her i'd really like to get to know her, explore her mind and body, seal the deal take her soul, the final score win win zero game but that's game theory, really time i took this stuff past theory. lol I guess its business as usual obviously chaotic but never mindless i should probably use my mind less.